December 26, 2008

On December 26, 2008 Steve, Mikah, Kaenan, Aleia, one-year-old Kalia and I loaded up into our Chevy Tahoe towing our stuffed toy-hauler and set out for a new start in Waddy, Kentucky. Today is December 27, 2010 and we have reached the two year mark since we set out on our new journey. Every year's end, for as long as I can remember I have tried to write year-end wrap up and forecast for the upcoming year. I didn't do it last year. I would like to write a few thoughts here.

When we set out two years ago we knew we were going to be stretching the distance between us and some of the most amazing friends and family that life and our God could possibly supply. Over the past two years the realization of that has only solidified and grown more intense. We were both loved and used to love, and still are in the most real way and will continue to treasure the relationships forever, and look forward to enjoying them for eternity!

We are most thankful for the hospitality, love, and support of family here as well over the past two years as we try to figure out our place in this new land. Everything has changed for us. Everything. Our family has stood by our side and not walked away and continue to love us. We are utmost thankful and grateful, no matter what others may think. I love to watch our children grow to together and do life together, growing in "Team Stein". I do not know what the future holds for this household of Team Stein, but to only God be the glory, and may He unite us with cords that cannot be broken! Let us take up our armor that we may be able to withstand the fiery darts of the evil one, and stand strong!

We had our dear friends, the Steedly brothers, here before Christmas, as they were driving home to Cali from New Jersey. Hanging out with them, once again, even for that short time, no matter how hard we fight, just reminds us that we really may not fit in here in this land. We know God has us here and we don't know where God would have us be in the future. However, we are sure of our charge for the time being, that our life is not our own and we are to live for the glory of Jesus, no matter where we reside. We are learning and growing in hard things and we know that hard things are necessary (Romans 5:1-4) though i may not pray for trials anymore, ha ha.

Looking back to last year i do not feel the sting that i did as i looked back to Dec. 26, 2008 and the departure. Today I feel a peace. I do feel a sadness as i remember a crowd of our loved ones standing out on our lawn crying and waving as we pulled away that afternoon, but not quite the sting as i did last year.

For the first time i almost do not want to look ahead and do a forecast. I simply hope and pray for consistency in obedience and intimacy with my Savior and continued enjoyment in my roles He has given me. I pray that Steve will be able to get his Master plumbing license. We are hoping to make a trip back to Cali for Valerie and Gracie's graduation.

Ever since God spoke the idea of joyful expectation to my heart while sitting under pastor Karl Vaters sometime around 2001 i have been given the grace by God to steadily grow in this vision. Coming to this new land was no different. However, when things didn't go the way that i had planned them to go my eyes shifted off the One to be expectant of and on to myself and i have let that shift to stagnancy. Over the past six months or so both Steve and I have felt a return of this on and off as we have been given the grace by God to return our vision where it should be. Year end, we find ourselves fighting again. This is so much easier to do when we are surrounded by friends that would share their 'stories of glory' (simple stories of how God is working in their lives or just even sharing a scripture), and sweet fellowship serves its purpose. I really do not like having to fight and not having joyful expectation. This is not who i am.

My heart is full of praise and thanksgiving to our God who is more than able to accomplish what He wills.

"Therefore, I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the GOd of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you understandingbeing enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far aboved all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and HIm to be head over all things to the church, which is HIs body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." Ephesians 1:15-23

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which GOd prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

"Now, to His who is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be the GLORY in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20