Steve and I got an update last night from a very treasured friend from my high school youth group who became Steve's best friend and has remained that way and will for life. He hadn't talked to him for about four months so the update was filled with both sad and happy news. After Steve shared with me the jist of how this friend is doing we fell in awe of the majesty of our God, for the gift of friendship, for the gift of God's goodness to His people as we can have an alive relationship with the Maker and Creator of all the universe and that He truly does interact intimately with us on a personal level!
I will try my best to explain why i titled this blog the way i did and tie the first paragraph in with the idea without giving out personal information. Please bear with me as i try my best to formulate my ideas and express my heart and long time passions.
If you have read a few posts back "Shower Song" you know a bit of history of my high school youth group and just the small underlying factor of what we experienced. There were many people in that group of teens that were changed for life by the tangible love of a real Savior alive and active in our midst, both taught, preached, and lived out within our group like i have never seen it before, all lead on by God alone.
Our youth Pastor, Dan Berg, didn't have any specific pastoral training or youth certification and neither did the others who helped out like Mark and Theresa Redden, just to name a couple of dear friends now missionaries in Australia fighting to love the people there with the gospel of Jesus everyday for over ten years. Dan was just a regular guy who had his life radically turned around, saved by Jesus, and had a passion for God's word and sharing it with others. He was asked to start a youth group at Calvary Chapel Westminster, and i believe there wasn't even any kids at the time. He prayed that God would send him just one kid, just one kid with a love for Jesus, and God did (someone please correct me if you are to read this and i get the story slightly off or something, not that i even have any readers, haha). Then the one kid turned into three, and one of those three was Peyton Jones, who is now a pastor in Wales (Europe). Peyton got saved and started sharing the gospel at his high school (Marina in HB) and then they started an outreach night in Huntington Beach and the group turned into a growing 60, sometimes reaching 100 even, just by teaching verse by verse through the gospel of John, having worship time, and allowing the kids to experience God.
Dan and the other few leaders invested true Jesus love into us kids. He would take the time to challenge us what we thought a Bible verse meant or how it might be lived out. He took the time to answer our questions and to train others to be there to answer other's questions. He discipled us and made sure we were equipped for the trials of life, and for 98% of the group, that pretty much was happening every day. For me, coming from being raised in the church and being part of a youth group all my life it was very special to me that Dan actually took the time to simply just know my name, even from the first time i showed up at Murdy Park. I had been a regular attender at a normal size youth group for three years prior to this and the youth pastor could not even remember my name, seriously!
So, looking back, over twenty years later, though i know God's providence was in order, i see that Dan and the other adults that took their time investing and loving us teenagers with the love that the gospel brings made an impact on the lives of many, and not just for that time period. It created a relationship with the Living God that would carry us all both then, through the growing pains of our twenties, the stabilizing of our thirties, and now as we are all heading to the end of that, looking into our 40's with joyful expectation to lead our own children and others into gospel truth.
So, why love the youth? Why take the time to listen to them? Soooo many many reasons but looking back to the start of this blog is the answer. Loving the youth for the sake of the gospel, to bring them hope, to show them there is a future in Jesus, to point them to a love that will never ever fail, just that one little chance to do so with one teenager while they are yet very young, might give them a chance through Jesus to make a sad story happy!
Friday, December 31, 2010
authentic stinger thought
Okay, so i just had a sudden rush of a feeling, after all my recent posts, for the close of the year, that stung my heart. I really really would like to be back home with our friends and family that know us, we know them, and enjoy sweet fellowship again! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!! The longings of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Joyful Expectation
What is joyful expectation?
I remember hearing Pastor Karl Vaters back at Cornerstone in Fountain Valley, California, sometime around 2001 preach about 'joyful expectation', i believe, and it renewed something in my heart that i had experienced ever since that day when God breathed new life into my heart and opened my eyes to the spiritual realm and what He was doing around me. Knowing, even with just a small limited knowledge, who God is and His character, His majesty, His greatness, and then being able to watch for His work in my life and around me is joyful expectation. Knowing that He who began a good work in me, and in others, will be faithful to complete it, is joyful expectation. It is hope that does not disappoint because it is not of human control.
Back in the high school youth group day we so embrased the idea of living in joyful expectation but didn't know to call it that. We were always experiencing the work of God and incredible things, lives being changed, including our own. Eventually what we had changed, got torn down, and we all moved on, though memories and our relationship with our Saviour remains and still grows.
I feel like the same thing happened again to me after being sparked again to joyful expectation n the early 2000's. Steve and I were steadily growing and being used by God, experiencing God's mercy and grace, watching God work around us. We had such high hopes of this continuing as we moved into this new land. We are fighting harder than ever to keep our eyes on the Author and Perfector of our faith and not on our circumstances, whether trying or easy, that He might bring back joyful expectation.
When one is around someone that stands firm and breathes joyful expectation it is contagious; you can't help but to also look for God's work around you. If we are brothers/sisters in Christ Jesus we have the very same alive and active God, right? This is just one of the many many reasons why we must make every opportunity count when given the blessing of fellowship, to spur one another on.
Once again, i must end on this scripture that has been a long time favorite and i cannot get out of my mind lately:
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church for all generations for ever and ever. Amen." Romans 3:20
I remember hearing Pastor Karl Vaters back at Cornerstone in Fountain Valley, California, sometime around 2001 preach about 'joyful expectation', i believe, and it renewed something in my heart that i had experienced ever since that day when God breathed new life into my heart and opened my eyes to the spiritual realm and what He was doing around me. Knowing, even with just a small limited knowledge, who God is and His character, His majesty, His greatness, and then being able to watch for His work in my life and around me is joyful expectation. Knowing that He who began a good work in me, and in others, will be faithful to complete it, is joyful expectation. It is hope that does not disappoint because it is not of human control.
Back in the high school youth group day we so embrased the idea of living in joyful expectation but didn't know to call it that. We were always experiencing the work of God and incredible things, lives being changed, including our own. Eventually what we had changed, got torn down, and we all moved on, though memories and our relationship with our Saviour remains and still grows.
I feel like the same thing happened again to me after being sparked again to joyful expectation n the early 2000's. Steve and I were steadily growing and being used by God, experiencing God's mercy and grace, watching God work around us. We had such high hopes of this continuing as we moved into this new land. We are fighting harder than ever to keep our eyes on the Author and Perfector of our faith and not on our circumstances, whether trying or easy, that He might bring back joyful expectation.
When one is around someone that stands firm and breathes joyful expectation it is contagious; you can't help but to also look for God's work around you. If we are brothers/sisters in Christ Jesus we have the very same alive and active God, right? This is just one of the many many reasons why we must make every opportunity count when given the blessing of fellowship, to spur one another on.
Once again, i must end on this scripture that has been a long time favorite and i cannot get out of my mind lately:
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church for all generations for ever and ever. Amen." Romans 3:20
Monday, December 27, 2010
December 26, 2008
On December 26, 2008 Steve, Mikah, Kaenan, Aleia, one-year-old Kalia and I loaded up into our Chevy Tahoe towing our stuffed toy-hauler and set out for a new start in Waddy, Kentucky. Today is December 27, 2010 and we have reached the two year mark since we set out on our new journey. Every year's end, for as long as I can remember I have tried to write year-end wrap up and forecast for the upcoming year. I didn't do it last year. I would like to write a few thoughts here.
When we set out two years ago we knew we were going to be stretching the distance between us and some of the most amazing friends and family that life and our God could possibly supply. Over the past two years the realization of that has only solidified and grown more intense. We were both loved and used to love, and still are in the most real way and will continue to treasure the relationships forever, and look forward to enjoying them for eternity!
We are most thankful for the hospitality, love, and support of family here as well over the past two years as we try to figure out our place in this new land. Everything has changed for us. Everything. Our family has stood by our side and not walked away and continue to love us. We are utmost thankful and grateful, no matter what others may think. I love to watch our children grow to together and do life together, growing in "Team Stein". I do not know what the future holds for this household of Team Stein, but to only God be the glory, and may He unite us with cords that cannot be broken! Let us take up our armor that we may be able to withstand the fiery darts of the evil one, and stand strong!
We had our dear friends, the Steedly brothers, here before Christmas, as they were driving home to Cali from New Jersey. Hanging out with them, once again, even for that short time, no matter how hard we fight, just reminds us that we really may not fit in here in this land. We know God has us here and we don't know where God would have us be in the future. However, we are sure of our charge for the time being, that our life is not our own and we are to live for the glory of Jesus, no matter where we reside. We are learning and growing in hard things and we know that hard things are necessary (Romans 5:1-4) though i may not pray for trials anymore, ha ha.
Looking back to last year i do not feel the sting that i did as i looked back to Dec. 26, 2008 and the departure. Today I feel a peace. I do feel a sadness as i remember a crowd of our loved ones standing out on our lawn crying and waving as we pulled away that afternoon, but not quite the sting as i did last year.
For the first time i almost do not want to look ahead and do a forecast. I simply hope and pray for consistency in obedience and intimacy with my Savior and continued enjoyment in my roles He has given me. I pray that Steve will be able to get his Master plumbing license. We are hoping to make a trip back to Cali for Valerie and Gracie's graduation.
Ever since God spoke the idea of joyful expectation to my heart while sitting under pastor Karl Vaters sometime around 2001 i have been given the grace by God to steadily grow in this vision. Coming to this new land was no different. However, when things didn't go the way that i had planned them to go my eyes shifted off the One to be expectant of and on to myself and i have let that shift to stagnancy. Over the past six months or so both Steve and I have felt a return of this on and off as we have been given the grace by God to return our vision where it should be. Year end, we find ourselves fighting again. This is so much easier to do when we are surrounded by friends that would share their 'stories of glory' (simple stories of how God is working in their lives or just even sharing a scripture), and sweet fellowship serves its purpose. I really do not like having to fight and not having joyful expectation. This is not who i am.
My heart is full of praise and thanksgiving to our God who is more than able to accomplish what He wills.
"Therefore, I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the GOd of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you understandingbeing enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far aboved all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and HIm to be head over all things to the church, which is HIs body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." Ephesians 1:15-23
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which GOd prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
"Now, to His who is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be the GLORY in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20
When we set out two years ago we knew we were going to be stretching the distance between us and some of the most amazing friends and family that life and our God could possibly supply. Over the past two years the realization of that has only solidified and grown more intense. We were both loved and used to love, and still are in the most real way and will continue to treasure the relationships forever, and look forward to enjoying them for eternity!
We are most thankful for the hospitality, love, and support of family here as well over the past two years as we try to figure out our place in this new land. Everything has changed for us. Everything. Our family has stood by our side and not walked away and continue to love us. We are utmost thankful and grateful, no matter what others may think. I love to watch our children grow to together and do life together, growing in "Team Stein". I do not know what the future holds for this household of Team Stein, but to only God be the glory, and may He unite us with cords that cannot be broken! Let us take up our armor that we may be able to withstand the fiery darts of the evil one, and stand strong!
We had our dear friends, the Steedly brothers, here before Christmas, as they were driving home to Cali from New Jersey. Hanging out with them, once again, even for that short time, no matter how hard we fight, just reminds us that we really may not fit in here in this land. We know God has us here and we don't know where God would have us be in the future. However, we are sure of our charge for the time being, that our life is not our own and we are to live for the glory of Jesus, no matter where we reside. We are learning and growing in hard things and we know that hard things are necessary (Romans 5:1-4) though i may not pray for trials anymore, ha ha.
Looking back to last year i do not feel the sting that i did as i looked back to Dec. 26, 2008 and the departure. Today I feel a peace. I do feel a sadness as i remember a crowd of our loved ones standing out on our lawn crying and waving as we pulled away that afternoon, but not quite the sting as i did last year.
For the first time i almost do not want to look ahead and do a forecast. I simply hope and pray for consistency in obedience and intimacy with my Savior and continued enjoyment in my roles He has given me. I pray that Steve will be able to get his Master plumbing license. We are hoping to make a trip back to Cali for Valerie and Gracie's graduation.
Ever since God spoke the idea of joyful expectation to my heart while sitting under pastor Karl Vaters sometime around 2001 i have been given the grace by God to steadily grow in this vision. Coming to this new land was no different. However, when things didn't go the way that i had planned them to go my eyes shifted off the One to be expectant of and on to myself and i have let that shift to stagnancy. Over the past six months or so both Steve and I have felt a return of this on and off as we have been given the grace by God to return our vision where it should be. Year end, we find ourselves fighting again. This is so much easier to do when we are surrounded by friends that would share their 'stories of glory' (simple stories of how God is working in their lives or just even sharing a scripture), and sweet fellowship serves its purpose. I really do not like having to fight and not having joyful expectation. This is not who i am.
My heart is full of praise and thanksgiving to our God who is more than able to accomplish what He wills.
"Therefore, I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the GOd of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you understandingbeing enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far aboved all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and HIm to be head over all things to the church, which is HIs body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." Ephesians 1:15-23
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which GOd prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
"Now, to His who is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to HIM be the GLORY in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20
Shower Song
The past two days I have been reminded of my old shower song. Please let me retell the story that will be boring to most, but to me, it was MAGNIFICENT!
Back in 1989 there was a group of teenagers that got together on a Friday night, in Huntington Beach, California, at Murdy Park recreation center (a local hang out), and instead of doing the normal party seen, their hearts had been transformed by the love of the living Savior, Jesus Christ. This eclectic group of a growing 60 which only about two or three (including myself) actually came from a christian home and the rest came from broken homes, godless homes, abused lives, and just plain messed up. We were all awakened by this amazing love and awe that God poured out in abundance in our lives. JESUS WAS ALIVE AND AT WORK IN OUR MIDST! We were a part of it! This was my senior year in high school and i will be changed forever because of what took place and forever sing the glory of our King Jesus!
We sang a very simple song and knowing stories of my friends that sang it made more awesome. I didn't have any hang ups or problems that i knew about at that time. However, as the years progressed, as i matured, this song, this simple song spoke simple truth to my heart. And, so it does even today.
"I am a wounded soldier, but i will not leave the fight.
Because the Great Physician is healing me!
So, i'm standing in the battle, in the armor of HIS light
Because HIS mighty power is REAL in me!
I am loved!
I am excepted!
By the Savior of my, Savior of my soul!
I am loved!
I am excepted!
And my wounds will be made whole.
...and my wounds will be made whole!"
(I checked. It has the whole five elements of the 'handy gospel' in it.)
There are just times, no matter how old, how young, where we are at in life, where we just need to say these simple truths over and over and over to ourselves and let them be the air we breathe!
I have a quote in my bathroom by the light switch so hopefully i might never ever forget, because i do, "The key to holiness is falling in love with Jesus", the Savior of our souls, who loves, cares, excepts, and heals! Who is over all, in all, and reigns supreme for eternity!
Amen
Go look for how God is at work around you today. That may just be your invitation to join in, soldier.
Back in 1989 there was a group of teenagers that got together on a Friday night, in Huntington Beach, California, at Murdy Park recreation center (a local hang out), and instead of doing the normal party seen, their hearts had been transformed by the love of the living Savior, Jesus Christ. This eclectic group of a growing 60 which only about two or three (including myself) actually came from a christian home and the rest came from broken homes, godless homes, abused lives, and just plain messed up. We were all awakened by this amazing love and awe that God poured out in abundance in our lives. JESUS WAS ALIVE AND AT WORK IN OUR MIDST! We were a part of it! This was my senior year in high school and i will be changed forever because of what took place and forever sing the glory of our King Jesus!
We sang a very simple song and knowing stories of my friends that sang it made more awesome. I didn't have any hang ups or problems that i knew about at that time. However, as the years progressed, as i matured, this song, this simple song spoke simple truth to my heart. And, so it does even today.
"I am a wounded soldier, but i will not leave the fight.
Because the Great Physician is healing me!
So, i'm standing in the battle, in the armor of HIS light
Because HIS mighty power is REAL in me!
I am loved!
I am excepted!
By the Savior of my, Savior of my soul!
I am loved!
I am excepted!
And my wounds will be made whole.
...and my wounds will be made whole!"
(I checked. It has the whole five elements of the 'handy gospel' in it.)
There are just times, no matter how old, how young, where we are at in life, where we just need to say these simple truths over and over and over to ourselves and let them be the air we breathe!
I have a quote in my bathroom by the light switch so hopefully i might never ever forget, because i do, "The key to holiness is falling in love with Jesus", the Savior of our souls, who loves, cares, excepts, and heals! Who is over all, in all, and reigns supreme for eternity!
Amen
Go look for how God is at work around you today. That may just be your invitation to join in, soldier.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
When being icey warms the heart!
Wednesday night we had an ice storm that plastered my car into the tundra and made it one with the pond-like ground outside. We all have been trapped inside since then, with the exception of Steve and Darren who were smart enough to park their work cars at the top of the hilly incline and taxi the 4x4 back and forth to the house.
Today is Saturday and it has been three full days of not being able to even get to the mail box. Back when we lived in Cali even after i had babies and was recovering from c-section i could not even stay in the house that long! However, this icey cold, i must say, is warming my heart.
We have the ultimate blessing, for the time being, of being in a 4,200 square foot house with eight children; two sets of cousins, ranging from 3 to 17. Over the past three days there has been a lot of activity going on, together. The cousins have gone sledding, ice skating, towing each other on table tops (don't ask about this one because i will not tell you), watching movies, and playing board games. Some of the times i have had the privilege of joining in and some of the times i have just had the privilege of just listening to them while they 'bond' and i do what mommies/aunties do.
Last night after we made chocolate chip cookies, played Cranium, the kids were playing Apples to Apples down stairs and I started my night chores. I couldn't have been more blessed. Then my sixteen-year-old niece, instead of being all bummed out that on a Friday night she could not be out with her friends said, "We have the best family EVER!" Everyone agreed with her and they all carried on, joking on about "Friar Isaiah" with the little girls just hanging out while the others played their game, no one being bothered, everyone accomodating each other.
So, yeah, we might not be able to get out but my heart, all of our hearts, are warm! Thank you, God, for this season of ice!
Today is Saturday and it has been three full days of not being able to even get to the mail box. Back when we lived in Cali even after i had babies and was recovering from c-section i could not even stay in the house that long! However, this icey cold, i must say, is warming my heart.
We have the ultimate blessing, for the time being, of being in a 4,200 square foot house with eight children; two sets of cousins, ranging from 3 to 17. Over the past three days there has been a lot of activity going on, together. The cousins have gone sledding, ice skating, towing each other on table tops (don't ask about this one because i will not tell you), watching movies, and playing board games. Some of the times i have had the privilege of joining in and some of the times i have just had the privilege of just listening to them while they 'bond' and i do what mommies/aunties do.
Last night after we made chocolate chip cookies, played Cranium, the kids were playing Apples to Apples down stairs and I started my night chores. I couldn't have been more blessed. Then my sixteen-year-old niece, instead of being all bummed out that on a Friday night she could not be out with her friends said, "We have the best family EVER!" Everyone agreed with her and they all carried on, joking on about "Friar Isaiah" with the little girls just hanging out while the others played their game, no one being bothered, everyone accomodating each other.
So, yeah, we might not be able to get out but my heart, all of our hearts, are warm! Thank you, God, for this season of ice!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Dolby fb post-reposted
This is an old facebook note that I wrote last year that i just reread and wanted to enter on my blog to have for my journal keeping. PLEASE NOTE THIS WAS WRITTEN ONE YEAR AGO AND A LOT HAS CHANGED! I would like to keep the story as-is for my journaling purposes!
thoughts on authenticity and living life with the dolby turned off....
by Kristine Corneiller Stein on Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 4:39pm
To live an authentic life 'coram Deo' you must turn the dolby off. All these years living next door to Bob Burch with just a wall separating us can make this comparison vivid. For those who don't have the pleasure of knowing Bob, he is an amazing, hard working, music producer. For fourteen years we had the pleasure of being his next door neighbor and treasured friend. He has worked with countless up and coming bands and have given many young just starting out bands the push into sucessful. Bob goes against the grain pushing young christian bands to work harder than the world to display their God given talent, bringing them to the point of audible perfection. All through the night he would work with each band member over and over, laying each sound track note by note. We could not sleep, nor our babies, unless there was a base or drum track was being laid. It would be so funny to hear the final outcome of each song and be able to pick out the base line that had subconsciencly been running through our mind for weeks. Bob would get so excited after countless hours of working on a song that he could not wait to grab Steve or myself, or anyone he could for that matter, to hear his art work. Hearing music in Bob's studio sounded amazing with his quality of equipment. I could not imagine, especially for us having an audible familiarity with each sound, having the dolby turned on. Honestly, i don't get why anyone would want to have the dolby turned on??? To take the highs and lows out would be just plain gross.
To live an authentic life not hiding behind whatever image, if any, you must turn the dolby off. I just don't get those people that go through life always just even keeled. I wish i could turn off my dolby but i don't think i was made with that feature. My highs are so high that i freak people out. I have been told that my attitude is not often believable when i am full of joy and love that it seems fake until people get to know me. Same with my lows. They are so ugly that they make me run to Jesus. I am learning to treasure a godly character in respect to an authentic life. I desire this. I can't do this on my own. (I am adding to this -12/11/2010-that the above comments in no way suggest that i suffer from a mental illness. My choice of words when i wrote this was, once again, over dramatic. Self control is a fruit of the spirit and i do have it, though i have not mastered it, and as David, when the Spirit of the Lord moves in my heart i will dance-that is what i meant. )
The last, almost ten months now, have been such a different direction for us. For the first time in a long time i don't feel fueled by a constant joyful expectation that i seemed to have in California. There are glimps of it here and there. I think if i have ever walked through the desert it is now. This is the first time I wish i had a dolby button. Every day all i hear is "wait, be still....". We left Cali on a high after Steve loosing his job and the journey of trusting God for life. We were soooo fueled by the amazing community that we walked authentically through life with. The impact of our friends through that time will speak to our hearts forever. We were so encouraged as we parted, being sent out 'to green pastures'. I had joyful expectation that had replaced an attitude that just three months prior would have been the worst idea ever, in respects to moving to Kentucky. Life void of dolby has been brought to a new set of ears. I have no doubt that God is the producer of this tune, though it is very unfamiliar and there are very new instruments to be mastered. I am tempted to construct the dolby feature but i know that would sound like crap.
It seems that every time i pick up a new instrument as instructed on my lesson plan i get it taken away. I know and trust the Composer so why do i throw such a fit? All i hear from other is that it will be amazing. Heck usually i am the one to passionately personify that idea. This time all i hear when i hit play back is junk. I see things in my life that i have never seen before. I see things that are a necessity for building joyful expectation, things that carry the high notes that not everyone can hear. Things that i hold on to that make the lows so very low are rising to the surface. Am i going through the 'Refiner's fire' like i have prayed for since i started on this journey? If so, why am i not moving ahead? I 'hear' the voices of the ones who helped build that joyful expectation i lived in (shout out to facebook for being the transporter) but i just want to 'see' them, to make this a melody.
Is it really beneficial to live authentically? After all, only a fool vents all his feelings. Does our world operate on dolby and must you also in order to play? There are so many schools of thought, so many ways to play this out, and ways to make the harmony sound magnificent. Bottom line, the rules need to be founded on the words of Life to where they make your blood run Bibline. Void of dolby, authenically living, bearing joyful expectation, letting the waters flow to overflow from the Source, needs to a product of surrender. Strip it down, lay it out, burn it up, fall in love, and surrender. Bob would work on a track until the musician bled or wanted to have Bob committed. If they surrendered their talent would be brought to a new level and would actually be desired to be heard. I get this, so why do i fight this?
I like my old shoes and don't want to take them off to trade them for the new ones. The new ones are not my style. Yet when i 'go shopping' i ask my Daddy what He thinks and tell Him to pick them out for me. These are the ones He thinks are best. What a pouty, sulky, ungrateful kid i am. I see this attitude and i desire to be purged. Yet, i feel like i don't have the strength to even stoke the fire on my own.
"Suffering brings perserverance, perserverance character, and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because GOd's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" (Romans 5: 3-5). This has been one of my favorite life lines since i was 17. I need to let this wash and transform my mind and heart so i can continue on, authentically, out loud, and not for my own praise or glory but for the glory of the One who can weigh one's heart and actually change it to fully satisifed in all He has, even the shoes.
thoughts on authenticity and living life with the dolby turned off....
by Kristine Corneiller Stein on Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 4:39pm
To live an authentic life 'coram Deo' you must turn the dolby off. All these years living next door to Bob Burch with just a wall separating us can make this comparison vivid. For those who don't have the pleasure of knowing Bob, he is an amazing, hard working, music producer. For fourteen years we had the pleasure of being his next door neighbor and treasured friend. He has worked with countless up and coming bands and have given many young just starting out bands the push into sucessful. Bob goes against the grain pushing young christian bands to work harder than the world to display their God given talent, bringing them to the point of audible perfection. All through the night he would work with each band member over and over, laying each sound track note by note. We could not sleep, nor our babies, unless there was a base or drum track was being laid. It would be so funny to hear the final outcome of each song and be able to pick out the base line that had subconsciencly been running through our mind for weeks. Bob would get so excited after countless hours of working on a song that he could not wait to grab Steve or myself, or anyone he could for that matter, to hear his art work. Hearing music in Bob's studio sounded amazing with his quality of equipment. I could not imagine, especially for us having an audible familiarity with each sound, having the dolby turned on. Honestly, i don't get why anyone would want to have the dolby turned on??? To take the highs and lows out would be just plain gross.
To live an authentic life not hiding behind whatever image, if any, you must turn the dolby off. I just don't get those people that go through life always just even keeled. I wish i could turn off my dolby but i don't think i was made with that feature. My highs are so high that i freak people out. I have been told that my attitude is not often believable when i am full of joy and love that it seems fake until people get to know me. Same with my lows. They are so ugly that they make me run to Jesus. I am learning to treasure a godly character in respect to an authentic life. I desire this. I can't do this on my own. (I am adding to this -12/11/2010-that the above comments in no way suggest that i suffer from a mental illness. My choice of words when i wrote this was, once again, over dramatic. Self control is a fruit of the spirit and i do have it, though i have not mastered it, and as David, when the Spirit of the Lord moves in my heart i will dance-that is what i meant. )
The last, almost ten months now, have been such a different direction for us. For the first time in a long time i don't feel fueled by a constant joyful expectation that i seemed to have in California. There are glimps of it here and there. I think if i have ever walked through the desert it is now. This is the first time I wish i had a dolby button. Every day all i hear is "wait, be still....". We left Cali on a high after Steve loosing his job and the journey of trusting God for life. We were soooo fueled by the amazing community that we walked authentically through life with. The impact of our friends through that time will speak to our hearts forever. We were so encouraged as we parted, being sent out 'to green pastures'. I had joyful expectation that had replaced an attitude that just three months prior would have been the worst idea ever, in respects to moving to Kentucky. Life void of dolby has been brought to a new set of ears. I have no doubt that God is the producer of this tune, though it is very unfamiliar and there are very new instruments to be mastered. I am tempted to construct the dolby feature but i know that would sound like crap.
It seems that every time i pick up a new instrument as instructed on my lesson plan i get it taken away. I know and trust the Composer so why do i throw such a fit? All i hear from other is that it will be amazing. Heck usually i am the one to passionately personify that idea. This time all i hear when i hit play back is junk. I see things in my life that i have never seen before. I see things that are a necessity for building joyful expectation, things that carry the high notes that not everyone can hear. Things that i hold on to that make the lows so very low are rising to the surface. Am i going through the 'Refiner's fire' like i have prayed for since i started on this journey? If so, why am i not moving ahead? I 'hear' the voices of the ones who helped build that joyful expectation i lived in (shout out to facebook for being the transporter) but i just want to 'see' them, to make this a melody.
Is it really beneficial to live authentically? After all, only a fool vents all his feelings. Does our world operate on dolby and must you also in order to play? There are so many schools of thought, so many ways to play this out, and ways to make the harmony sound magnificent. Bottom line, the rules need to be founded on the words of Life to where they make your blood run Bibline. Void of dolby, authenically living, bearing joyful expectation, letting the waters flow to overflow from the Source, needs to a product of surrender. Strip it down, lay it out, burn it up, fall in love, and surrender. Bob would work on a track until the musician bled or wanted to have Bob committed. If they surrendered their talent would be brought to a new level and would actually be desired to be heard. I get this, so why do i fight this?
I like my old shoes and don't want to take them off to trade them for the new ones. The new ones are not my style. Yet when i 'go shopping' i ask my Daddy what He thinks and tell Him to pick them out for me. These are the ones He thinks are best. What a pouty, sulky, ungrateful kid i am. I see this attitude and i desire to be purged. Yet, i feel like i don't have the strength to even stoke the fire on my own.
"Suffering brings perserverance, perserverance character, and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because GOd's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" (Romans 5: 3-5). This has been one of my favorite life lines since i was 17. I need to let this wash and transform my mind and heart so i can continue on, authentically, out loud, and not for my own praise or glory but for the glory of the One who can weigh one's heart and actually change it to fully satisifed in all He has, even the shoes.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Voyage of the Dawn Treader
I am trying to cram in the rest of 75 pages remaining of "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", from the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S.Lewis before we can take the kids to go see the movie as it is released in the theaters tomorrow, Dec. 10, 2010. I have read out loud to the boys the other two books before they saw the movie. I believe that the literature is very rich and want them to have a picture in their mind before it is given to them, as I did when my dad read to me, "THe Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" when I was a little girl.
I have not had the pleasure of reading "Voyage" prior of reading with my children. This is the most enjoyable one out of the series that i have read yet. The symbolizm is very rich and the pictures my mind draws of parallels to my walk with Jesus have captured my heart. However, even more than that to see both Mikah and Kaenan be captivated and understand the symbolizm, to see my children understand things of spiritual nature with little or no interpretation is very very cool.
If you may happen to read this blog and will go see the movie without reading the book, you may be missing out. Near the first part of the book there is an incident where the Pevensie's cousin, Eucstace, gets turned into a dragon and remains one for a short periof of time, during which he goes through humility, repentance, salvation. C.S. Lewis incorporates these aspects of the christian life so well into the story that I know it is something that will stick with my children forever. I don't know how the movie will portray this part of the book but I can't imagine doing it justice.
I am thankful for the time I have to read and share this with my children!
I have not had the pleasure of reading "Voyage" prior of reading with my children. This is the most enjoyable one out of the series that i have read yet. The symbolizm is very rich and the pictures my mind draws of parallels to my walk with Jesus have captured my heart. However, even more than that to see both Mikah and Kaenan be captivated and understand the symbolizm, to see my children understand things of spiritual nature with little or no interpretation is very very cool.
If you may happen to read this blog and will go see the movie without reading the book, you may be missing out. Near the first part of the book there is an incident where the Pevensie's cousin, Eucstace, gets turned into a dragon and remains one for a short periof of time, during which he goes through humility, repentance, salvation. C.S. Lewis incorporates these aspects of the christian life so well into the story that I know it is something that will stick with my children forever. I don't know how the movie will portray this part of the book but I can't imagine doing it justice.
I am thankful for the time I have to read and share this with my children!
Drop.....
Proverbs 15:23 says "A word spoken in due season, how good it is!"
This has always been one of my favorite verses. My love language is words. My strongest spiritual gift is words of encouragement. I feel alive both when i am speaking and writing words. When words are spoken to me they impact me. However, i try to keep a very careful check that my satisfaction and drive/desire is not in words but in the Creator of words.
A couple of days ago words were spoken to me that i had not heard in a very very long time. These were words that i was use to hearing in the past and when i entered the dry wilderness they completely ceased. I did not look for these words. THe lack of this particular kind of words sure made me feel like i was not operating as one surrendered and made me feel very misplaced. Then the drop of water came!
I have had a many words spoken to me, unexpectedly, in due season, that have surely blessed me, but none like this drop (by drop i mean droplet, like a droplet of water). It was soooo refreshing that it humbled my soul and brought me immediately into the arms of my Father. My sleep was sweet that night and i awoke with a song in my heart! It was like almost two years on trek in the dry wilderness without a map and a drop of the most purest water, fortified with all kinds of good stuff, in one drop was given to me. I felt like Lucy, once again, refreshed by another brief visit or sighting by her Beloved Aslan (Chronicles of Narnia, of which i am in the process of reading out loud to children).
I know i am a bit dramatic and over the top but i wanted to write this as a milestone, like they did in the old testament, of GOd's faithfulness to me, and have record of it in my blog (which is reason for my blog). To me, this was huge, and i am very very thankful and full of worship to our King!
This has always been one of my favorite verses. My love language is words. My strongest spiritual gift is words of encouragement. I feel alive both when i am speaking and writing words. When words are spoken to me they impact me. However, i try to keep a very careful check that my satisfaction and drive/desire is not in words but in the Creator of words.
A couple of days ago words were spoken to me that i had not heard in a very very long time. These were words that i was use to hearing in the past and when i entered the dry wilderness they completely ceased. I did not look for these words. THe lack of this particular kind of words sure made me feel like i was not operating as one surrendered and made me feel very misplaced. Then the drop of water came!
I have had a many words spoken to me, unexpectedly, in due season, that have surely blessed me, but none like this drop (by drop i mean droplet, like a droplet of water). It was soooo refreshing that it humbled my soul and brought me immediately into the arms of my Father. My sleep was sweet that night and i awoke with a song in my heart! It was like almost two years on trek in the dry wilderness without a map and a drop of the most purest water, fortified with all kinds of good stuff, in one drop was given to me. I felt like Lucy, once again, refreshed by another brief visit or sighting by her Beloved Aslan (Chronicles of Narnia, of which i am in the process of reading out loud to children).
I know i am a bit dramatic and over the top but i wanted to write this as a milestone, like they did in the old testament, of GOd's faithfulness to me, and have record of it in my blog (which is reason for my blog). To me, this was huge, and i am very very thankful and full of worship to our King!
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